Hello RoselynKeir:

All I can say is that when my now wife and I first began our relationship, we decided NOT to make the mistakes both of us made in our other marriages so we seriously studied some relationship books and tapes. Among the things we learned was to start off with 100% honesty and NEVER let it slip. We did that and felt this amazing relief and freedom as our honesty and truthfulness gave both of us a sense of TRUST and comfort that we would be able to discuss and FIX anything that might come up to for us. We have no kids to damage by being bad parents or a troubled couple BUT the few, powerful relationship skills we learned and continue to use, like honesty and affection, are keeping our marriage good, fun, loving, safe, respectful and HAPPY.
If I were you, I would do whatever it takes to ensure that my child will not be damaged by unhappy or troubled parents and I would do that by getting into counseling, therapy, reading relationship books and tapes or anything I could find to HELP my own kids grow up mentally healthy.
good luck,
jim