I've been on a roller coaster of emotional uphevial since I was a child. Everything from abusive father to mood disorder to multiple medication changes to ptsd......list goes on. PMS as an adult is an up hill challenge for me. 7 days out of the month I feel extremely sad, joints and muscles ache, tenderness in the breasts, bloating.......again list goes on.

I am very overwhelmed with my life whether it be the past events or PMS. I lack motivation to do basic everyday things that some ppl take for granted. For instance..... getting out of bed, eating properly, getting a job, having friends...I mean close friends (not romantic relationships although that would be a dream come true), not feeling a constant sense of doom.......etc.

Besides pretending that I am not scared of living........and putting on a social masque........how do I start to feel ALIVE and not DEAD inside?