Ah sweetie, anything and everything you want and need to say, is relevant here. And we want to listen to you. It sounds like are having quite a difficult childhood, that nobody should have to go through. I am very sorry for that. Every child should feel safe, and happy and protected by their parents. But it sounds like your mother is going through a very difficult time and doesn't know how to deal with it, and seems to be taking out all of her stress on you and your siblings, which is so unfair to you all. It can and probably is so damaging to the children, but she probably doesn't even realize what she's doing. Although that's not an excuse for her poor behavior and bad parenting. You can and should come here and talk to us as often as you like about anything you want. We're here for you. Nothing you want to ask us is stupid or silly. Got it? Even if you have something you want to talk about personally, you can send a personal message to anyone that you like. Just click on their avatar, then you'll see that's above where you writ the message. The first one says about, click the last one, unerring that is send a private message. Don't worry, you're in great hands here! And we're glad to have you. Check out the depression forum. It's a great forum.