Quote:
Originally Posted by lilypup
One difference: when I was younger the mania was more intense. Now the depressions are the larger feature. I realize you may not have psychosis, but mine has worsened. But like Christina, I am more self-aware and can do more to help myself.
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I feel like, if what I get is mania or hypomania, it's gotten worse/more noticeable. Or I'm noticing it more now. But I'm not sure. I'm not diagnosed with BP, but I have "components." I no longer self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. I feel like they were often blamed for things they shouldn't have been blamed for (many times they were very obviously to blame, I'm not discounting that). And I'm not as sick as I used to be, but I feel like something's shifted. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something's changed.
I get delusional paranoia. Had a lot of trouble at my job because of it at one point. And once, without evidence, based on "intuition," I asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. I just "felt it." Put my relationship on the rocks for a good six months or more.