I'm not that good at explaining things but I will try, when I was a child I was always a wild child always getting into trouble doing all sorts of bad things even the friends I chosse are the bad type. Well before I got to 16 I was seeing over 30 doctors and not one could help, well my mum was reading this book and she was reading about ADHD she said she saw herself ticking all the boxes so she sent me for so many test. She sent me to this privert doctor who said that I had ADHD but we didnt go back because my parents couldnt really pay for privert, so yet again I hate to go for more test all over all they said was something about that I had it but I have grown out of most of it so they just left me never gave me treatment of any sorts.

Any ever since then my mum is always phoning someone talking about me just trying to take control even more at 28 my mum still controls me still says things like your a nothing without me your just the ill child, you wont amount to nothing I've kinda got use to it she has said that ever since I can remember. See people think my mum is a bright lovely women a really good mum but people dont see what she does to me they belive her I mean when she locks me in the house I call the police to get me out she says to them that I am i'll that I have ADHD so that the police just think its my condition, its like no one listens to me to what I say like they just think I'm this mental person.

So now at 28 I got told I had Borderline as well as ADHD and serve depression I'm also a self harmer a pill poper and a drug user, my mum dont have a clue that I have Borderline she dont know I have treatment she dont know i take drugs or self harm or pill pop she has no clue because it would be another thing for her to control to take over. So I feel that I have to hide so much that it just build up I also belive that because I have been left untreated for so long that there is no hope for me, my theripist thinks that where I have held so much in for so long that Group Therapy is opening a can of emotions.

I have told them I think I should be in hospital but they dont even give me a answer, I mean I told them that I'm at risk that I'm mentaly tired yet they say nothing I jsut dont know what to do thats why I think they dont take me for real that I must be a joke.