It is better overall, but our minds play tricks on us. We tend to filter out negative associations so the past seems better than the present. Facts are facts. I have not been in a mental hospital in years, only attempted suicide when I was young, and I'm strong enough to be in a relationship with a loving and understanding woman. I just roll with the punches now and realize that the cycles are temporary. Enjoy the stable times and have hope that the depression and mania will pass.