Reading about the scared feeling, was it a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach?
Did your crying spell happen before or after her return home?

I feel I may understand the emotion you are trying to express, but it's certainly a complicated one. Due to the high conflict environment, is how I'm reading it.
Dread, frustration, resentment, sense of feeling trapped, are possible emotions that would seem relevant to have in such an environment.

:Hug: