Hello. Im going to keep this as short as possible.
I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and things have been going great as far as our relationship goes. I found somebody who thinks the way I do, who believes in maintaining open communication like I do, we are on the same page as far as a serious relationship goes. I love her. I'm 21 n she's 24.

The problem comes in with her child. Don't get me wrong I don't have an issue with children. I like kids but it doesn't go any further than a forced like for kids. I want to have kids of my own someday but at this point in my life, at my age, I would never subject an innocent child to the circus that is my day to day life. Between college full time, working a full time job, homework ect there is no room for the full responsibility of another small human. Not to mention I don't even have my own place yet, nor does she have her own place. I've never lived with anyone outside of family, I wanna have my own spot before I bring in a partner and a child.

When we first started dating I made it very clear my stance on kids. She made it clear that she was taking care of her child just fine on her own and was in no hurry or need to co-parent. We were both on the same page, great! Fast forward into the future, I've seen her kid a couple times, spent a little time but nothing significant. I mostly come around when he's in bed or with his grandparents. Lately she's been dropping hints when we talk, usually about getting our 'own' place and living together and being a big happy family, which would be an exciting thought if she didn't have a child. I am fully aware of the tremendous responsibility of raising a child, not to mention the extra bull that comes with being a step parent. She was a teen parent and has stated that she doesn't regret her kid, she just regrets having a child so soon. Which I commend her for, she made a mistake and used that mistake as a way to mature herself and better herself. She wouldn't be the strong beautiful woman I love today if it wasn't for her child. I just don't want to alter my future for her mistake. My mother was also a woman who had children before she was ready and we struggled a LOT. She instilled in me the knowledge of sex and the reality of having kids. I practiced safe sex in my teenage years and got excellent grades so that I could have this time in my life to party, stay out late,do what I want or sit in complete silence if I choose to do so. You can't do that when taking care of a child.

I feel like she's subtly trying to accelerate an aspect of my life I wanna put brakes on. I don't know how to approach her about this without hurting her feelings. I'd never tell her her child is the reason, because its not fully. Its the whole structured family life with the shared responsibilities I'm not ready for. I'm young and learning, I just don't wanna put too much on myself before I'm ready.