Is it true that most CBT therapists have had little to no training regarding transference (erotic or otherwise)? I realize they don't place as much emphasis on the relationship, but aren't there certain ways they are supposed to handle it?

My CBT therapist is constantly dismissing it, or viewing it as a "problem" that just needs to "work itself out?" Or, there is also the "Okay, so you have feelings. Great. Accept them, and let's do the real work, as we have kinda veered off, here."

He's had to at least opened a book or two or experienced it firsthand with another client (which he claims, but I'm starting to not believe it). I don't feel that any of those above examples are really all that effective, and feel bad if this is how other clients were treated when they shared some deep and painful feelings.

I also see a psychodynamic therapist, and I am working out all this **** with him, properly. I'm happy about that. However, the whole POINT though, is that I wanted to work through this with CBT T. If he lacks the training, then, fine. I understand and won't hold it against him if this is just the area he chose, and does not deal with transference in any way, shape, or form.

I just wish I knew if this was related to lack of training or him being a complete asshole. It's like neither of are budging on our stance regarding transference. He doesn't see it as part of the work, but I feel that it IS the work...100%. And before anyone asks, I have talked about this with him. Doesn't seem to go anywhere. We do just fine when we don't talk about my feelings for him, but obviously, some emotional work is missing. I feel very alone in my whole experience with him, and it shouldn't be like that.

If he can't handle it, shouldn't he refer me out? He has kind of an ego, and refuses to do so. Though...I've also told him I would be absolutely distraught if he DID give me the boot. I feel like he's waiting for me to sever ties, and it's not fair. I shouldn't have to. He did say once that the reason we can't be together is because it wouldn't be professional, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he found me unattractive, unintelligent, etc. That's it. He wants to keep it appropriate, and if I can keep my end of the bargain, then we are apparently "good." This feels unfair...again. That's all he has to say about it? No exploration? Ugh. It's so "matter of fact." I hate it. Guess that's what I have psychodynamic T for...stupid I have to see two, though I think both of them bring some unique things to the table.