I'd get away and quickly. I know yr afraid of his reaction to this as in trying to take the kids away but the kids will always stay with mom unless the mom is abusing them. He is very abusive to you. Bipolar or not it's not yr fault!!! Please believe me. You simply were upset at the fact that they were going to leave you out of the gift idea. I'd be hurt too. There is no excuse for his behavior at all. Period. He is a ticking time bomb in my opinion. I'd get away as quickly as possible. Good luck and let us know how yr doing.