So I saw P-doc last night for the first time as my anti-d's had been prescribed by my internist. He said to stay on them and added some med for anxiety, He was very kind and conducted a very thorough interview. He asked me about my childhood and I told him it was awful. After a while of talking he said, "I can see why you said your childhood was awful." This comment made me sad, even though I had said it first. I'm glad i saw him because he was able to answer some q's about meds that were weighing on my mind. he wants to see me in 2 weeks.

Now, here's my quandry. I never in a million years expected to be someone on meds. I was always into doing things without meds if possible. Now, not only am i seeing a T, but I am also seeing a P-doc and taking 2 kinds of medication. My life is not my own anymore and I feel like I have turned into a dependent wussy. I could't pull myself out of this and so I am punishing myself.......Arggggggg I feel like I am caught up in a whirlwind, a tornado that won't put me down. I WANT MY LIFE BACK! My sister in law (she's a T too, but not mine) said that there is no more normal. The other day I asked my T about how do I get rid of the dissociation? He said you don't, you notice it.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to get it out. TGIF