Thank you for replying!
I've heard that a lot. One thing is I'm afraid to be confident. I DON'T want to put on an act anymore. I have done that and it's past the point of me being exhausted from trying to pretend I'm outgoing and such. I feel like I'm lying to people if I pretend to be outgoing. I am SO done with pretending to be someone I'm not or putting on a mask or a front. It's tiring and annoying to me now.
I hope some day I will learn to not take people's **** and to stand up for myself. As for right now, I feel like I'm being mean if I do or creating a ruckus.
Yeah I try not to stalk their social media. Lucky that you guys didn't have it. It's scary. Also the thought of accidentally clicking on something (happened to me before) and getting caught (this didn't happen yet). I just see what they're doing, analyze them, figure out their insecurities, find out their personality.
I have a hard time being just friends with guys? Why? I don't f****** know... I really don't. If they seem gay, I don't have a problem talking to them or chatting with them. But I mostly just feel comfortable and hanging out with girls. The guy needs to act like he's just a friend in order for me not to be anxious and worry about him.
And for careers? It's just so hard because I like different things and risky things. Singing acting psychology communications business maybe? I just want to do something that makes me happy and will fulfill me. I really don't know at all
I'm scared to get a job because I am so afraid of working. I am afraid of having a boss.
And ah. It's hard having so many worries. I just want to be worry-free.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Velouria
One way to build your confidence is to make goals for yourself. They can be small goals, medium-sized goals, large goals, or all three. Just make goals, and follow through. When you fall down, or backslide, don't wallow for too long, and pick yourself up again and keep going until you meet your goals. When I was sick and getting better, one of my goals was literally just to make my bed when I got up in the morning.
Are you sad that you're not assertive, or that people take advantage?
Everybody always thought I had confidence, but I was always really good at faking it. And as the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it." The reason why I'm really good at faking it is because I don't want people to take advantage of me, or to **** with me, because I suck at being assertive. When people think you're confident, they're less likely to try take advantage. On the inside I was one big puddle of insecurity. I'm still insecure, but not nearly as bad as when I was 18. I've gotten better as I've gotten older. Plus you just get tired of people's ********. 
As for relationships, pro tip: don't stalk their social media. We didn't have any of that, and I am so very glad. But seriously, don't do it. It's not worth it. I get obsessive too, and compulsive, and once you start, you can't stop, and then you start filling in the blanks with your own fears, and you kill it before it even has a chance to breathe. Don't do it.
You're in college, you don't need to fall in love right away. Have fun. Be friends with guys first. Don't look at them as potential boyfriends.
As for careers, it's ridiculous that anyone should be expected to know what they want to be when they grow up when they're 18. You have two years to decide what you want to major in, and then when you enter the workforce, you'll be lucky to be doing something even remotely related to your major. I kid you not. But here's a tip: definitely do an internship if you can, when you get to that point. It'll look good on your resume.
Focus on now. Have fun. I miss college. For as much trouble as I had adjusting and as much anxiety I had in social situations, I wish I could go back. Enjoy it. |