Why does your husband live in another state? That in its self must be difficut for you.
I was in another forum before i joined this one and a young woman did something very similar to what your saying you want to do. She was still coming on the site. She was living on the street and started selling her self. It hadnt been her intention to do that but i guess she needed money. I havent been on that site for a long time so i dont know how she is doing now but she didnt seem happy one bit.
Have you ever cinsidered having a voluntary short stay in hospital for mental health. I have done so and it helped