I am overwhelmed at the moment by my total inability to deal with food. I am using food as a crutch. Every pain in showing up in food. There is a lot of pain in my feelings about my family . Seems like there is just a lot of hurt going on even though it seems like we all do love each other. Hurtful arguments, hurtful neglects , hurtful unmet needs for time, love and attention. It seems so sad these divisions and strifes. In the end though I think the food and the fat on my body just makes things all the more sorrowful.