I don't know why I'm alive i.e, why I'm doing what I do. I have no enthusiasm for what I'm studying, When I graduate, and find myself a job, I certainly don't see myself doing it everyday for a living. I had dreams, aspirations and goals, I seem to have forgotten them thanks to my depression.

Now I'm like an empty, hollow shell, a shadow of my former self, I am like a living spectre, phantom. My life is like a videotape stuck on repeat, I do the same things everyday, not questioning why...... wait... infact, I do question why, but I know it's ultimately pointless. I am not happy at all, there's some kind of mental block in my head that's preventing me from imagining my future, what will I do when I grow up? relationships? family? I just don't want to think about them. If time stopped, I wouldn't know because it would make no difference. There's a voice in my head that asks "Why the hell should I be happy, what have I done to deserve happiness?"

Every time my mom calls me , she asks me how I'm doing, I tell her "well, I'm still alive".

In a few days, I'll post another thread on here, and the cycle continues, as soon as I go offline, I turn into a zombie.