Let me start by saying this: I have to intentions of hurting myself. I already am in constant variable pain. I have no intentions on taking my life, rather I fear death creeping in on me...

I have felt depressed for what seems my entire life. I was a child contemplating the pointlessness of playing rather than playing. I've just always been miserable...

This past year has been a strong downslide. I was injured at work(the constant pain, also out of work now), found out one of my brothers who I trusted the most had been sexually abusing our sister most of her life. My marriage is falling apart for what seems to be independent reasons that I can't grasp.

All my life I fought depression by the need to keep going, but when I get beat up on this badly I don't feel any fight left in me. I even tried picking up an engrossing hobby I enjoy, but I can only focus on the most depressing aspect of it...I am in counseling and waiting on my appointment for a psychiatrist...four month wait...

I never liked to use the word luck...but I could really use some right now. Anything, just anything. I feel like I have nothing left. Even my dog doesn't seem to give a hoot about me these days.

What you do when you have no strength left to do anything? Who do you talk to when it seems like no one is listening or cares to? Who do you trust when everyone around you only seems to hurt you? How do you carry one with no reason for it?