Since last Friday I have been depressed and getting worse every day. I had been fine before that. The depression came on suddenly and powerfully. Yesterday I saw my therapist and my psych who wanted me in hospital so I am begin admitted tomorrow. I am having to call in sick from work for a week at least and it makes me feel guilty and worried they will find out what is really going on.
I am just so fed up with life. I can't function and worry I will never be able to hold down a sucessful career. I cant have children so that is out. Thoughts and urges to kill myself flood my mind. Without the family and friends I do out I would end my life now but out of love i try to stay even though I know I can get sick enough to blind me to that. I am beginning to get that unwell so i guess thats why my treatment team have strongly urged me into hospital. Somehow I need to find the strength to pack now.