Quote:
Originally Posted by archipelago
I can feel your frustration. I actually don't know what to say. I think transference and the relationship are the vehicle through which therapy works so I just don't understand how it would work otherwise.
But I do psychoanalytic and haven't done CBT. I had heard that CBT people were now trying to add in stuff about the relationship, but I don't know how it would be handled.
Strange because the therapeutic relationship has more effect than the theoretical approach so you would think that all therapists would consider it part of the therapy.
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CBT T's see the therapeutic relationship as important in a real world context - it is important that you like them and that you trust them, much like other people you choose to spend time with in your life. Sometimes you are just drawn to people and it is what it is. I think because of this viewpoint it's an awkward conversation for CBT T's- it's not much different than telling your lawyer that you find him attractive, for example. If you told them they might or might not be flattered, but then wonder what you want to do with the information (continue with business as usual, have an affair or get a new lawyer?)
I brought it up with my pdoc and we talked about it indirectly. His take is that it's human to be drawn to people and to enjoy the process. He said if you want to talk deeper about it with the person, have it clear in your head what you hope to get from the talk, which I think was good advice in any situation. So I use my time with him as social skills work - I sit there for 20 minutes and to interact with him like a normal person. I am know the feelings stem from feeling overly judged by my dad and brother, so going into it with him won't serve much purpose for me would feel redundant.