Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduous
I think about it every day and the pain I feel for abandoning them never recedes. Even though my oldest was only 2 1/2 when that happened I know it changed him for the worse. He suffered because me & him were very close then I was gone. It eats me up inside, to the point that I can't take it. I try to make it up to them. But I betrayed my babies and to me, that's unforgivable.
I make the best of what I have, that's all any of us can do.
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Mom guilt is the absolute worst! I was not the most stable presence in my childrens lives & I know I caused damage. What's really strange is I know I probably wouldn't have had all my kids if I hadn't had BP. (Those quick emotional based decisions!)
A few of my kids have their own issues now that they are teens and so I'm trying not to wallow in guilt so I can be strong for them. I can't be good for them if I don't try to be good to myself.
It can't be changed. We can try to be better now. Try not to repeat the same mistakes.
Be kind and forgiving. You probably did the best you could at the time.
And yes, make the best of what you have now.
Hugs,