Thank you so much for your words PeeJay...it is a very confusing, scary and weird place to be in....
I ended up cancelling my appointment this evening though because I'm not ready to talk about it-and I'm not feeling the best with the depression and just want to sleep. I couldn't get up on time to take a shower and get things ready this morning for it anyways...
I know it will have to happen...but right now I'm just very depressed and overwhelmed and tired with no energy : (