(The trigger warning is more for me, because just thinking about this makes my hands shake, but I don't know if anyone else would be as bothered.)

I get my health care, including mh, from an HMO. A few years ago, they switched my medication management from my pdoc to regular doc. I thought it would only be for refills and that sort of thing. A short time after, I stopped taking medication, as I tend to do every few years.

I didn't think anything more about the role of my regular doc and medication management until I had a wellness exam that included a no good horrible gyno, which I've only had a few times in my life and this was the absolute worst. Afterward, while I was still undressed and on the exam table, she started asking me questions about my moods and mh status. I felt totally unable to object and went along with it.

There was no one else in the room the whole time, which I've noticed happens when it's a female doc doing the exam, so I thought maybe I was just overreacting. Still, it felt horrible and violating because the exam had been so very painful and she was standing there right next to the used instruments, oblivious to how I might be feeling exposed. And I was in too much shock or numb or something to say anything.

Flash forward a few years....I have been struggling a lot, lost my therapist (who moved), and contacted the HMO to see if I could get back in to see the pdoc, only to find that he was no longer there. I scheduled with another one who asked if she could let my regular doctor know (I said NO). I see the new pdoc in a couple weeks.

My question: do I tell her I don't want my medication management switched to regular doctor ever again (and the reason why, if I can possibly even say this out loud), or am I being too sensitive?