As we start talking more about trauma and dissociation, I am growing more concerned about contaminating my therapist with the blackness I carry around inside my soul. My experience on this site and in certain places in my real life has shown me that even when I am trying to be nice, apparently the blackness leaks through and I am misunderstood, or perhaps people just see through and see that I am basically a horrible person. I am reluctant to have him see anymore than he has already because he will know I am disgusting and also, it does feel like I contaminate people when I let too much of myself show.
Anyone else have that anxiety? How were you able to overcome it if you did?
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