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Originally Posted by archipelago
I totally get why different approaches would suit different people and situations. I guess I don't feel mixing and matching within one treatment, unless long term, or clarified, is the best way, but flexibility and modifications definitely.
The therapeutic relationship goes beyond the trust and safety of course and that has been the OP's issue since there is something deeper going on that is there but not being discussed or handled in a way that feels okay to that person and so the question is about the approach in general as well as the particular people.
While I get that CBT is very technique oriented, the thing is technique has been shown to be less important than the relationship. So yes, to some extent all techniques have validity, but the technique is the least important aspect of the therapy even if it seems like it is the most obvious and important. In fact I think the technique account for as much effect as just a placebo effect. The client factors and relationship account for like 70% of why therapy works.
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You're right - technique is the least important aspect of therapy in training to be honest. Graduate school for psychology is not terribly technique oriented unless you choose to receive additional training/specialization in a specific area (like Psychoanalysis, Marriage and family or substance abuse). Otherwise you learn about all the therapeutic approaches and learn the most through internships and residencies. You are taught their has to be a real relationship, but not really as it relates to transference, at least not in depth. Actually there is little to no training specifically for transference in social work or psychology programs. Only in depth psychoanalytic institutes where you get certified will give that amount of attention to transference. So it's not just the CBT therapists. Many therapists, masters or doctorate level, just don't deal with transference very well until they've had experience with it or it's the nature of their personality.