((((((((((justme111)))))))))))))
MAny of us are here if you need to talk; I know you're going through hell right now, please let us share your burdens.
Don't give up; perhaps being in a "safe place" is not such a bad idea--hopefully the hospital can be a "safe place" for you. I know that it's so difficult to give up control; but maybe you need a break too.
Let me know if I can help,
Peace,
Jon