I had a session with LCM today. It was highly unique. We met at a Starbucks and I complained about how public it was so she drove me over to our tree. This tree turns bright red in the fall and she'd take me on a walk to it when I was having a panic attack/disassociated. Anyway, we sat in her car and then on a park bench for a while to talk.

When we first met, LCM had an intake with me where I told her about the abuse I experienced except I didn't talk about the CSA because I didn't remember it at that point/was more in denial. The next day, she straight up asked me if I had ever experienced CSA. I said no and was upset that she asked.

I asked her about that again today. I asked if she believed me when I said I didn't experience any CSA. She deflected the answer at first. She said I showed all of the signs but then said something like she only cares about what I remember. We went back and forth like that for a few minutes until I said "okay, I know you are trying to say you didn't believe me. I'm not upset"
LCM: "okay well you're right. I didn't. I knew there was something else there. I didn't know what it was exactly and obviously I wasn't ever going to touch the topic until you told me, but yeah"

It's interesting to me because I know that my old school T thought something had happened too. I guess I'm just a little concerned that I'm obvious about it. I don't want everyone to know. I probably am obvious or maybe it's just something people assume because I'm an overweight girl. I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

I loved seeing her despite how many people will probably freak out about her putting me in her car and driving me around. I half jokingly asked her to drive me to school and she laughed and said she would but that would be too much for my transference.