I believe you and it's cool that it started a journey for you. I also understand that it was hard at first. I also understand that it is indescribable. That's why I try to read what people say about this since they have language that helps describe it.

Mine was so young it was pre-verbal. I didn't even believe such things were possible, but it was definitely happening and very intensely. My therapist recognized it right away; I took much longer to handle it. It was a profound experience.

But it also was a version of that "not me" or lost/discarded part suddenly becoming conscious. Boy, it turned everything around. It actually triggered every other trauma like a chain reaction. Very intense, but in the end very healing.