That I do irreparable damage (psychologically) to my wife and family....and never will be able to keep close relationships going.

I quash this fear by doing what I can to get better....therapy, etc...I hate therapy....but I need to give it a chance.

My last therapist argued with me about the definition of BP1 and BP2 -- I told him 2 was milder (which is my dx) and he disagreed....seriously your a psychologist and you don't know this basic fact.