I don't want a personal confrontation. I just want the therapist to own up to what happened, not to me. It doesn't matter to me. It's important to me that the therapist knows I know what was said, and not hurt another client like that again. I want to say, So someone goes to you for help and that is how they are treated? That's ******. The therapist probably won't care, but maybe will think again before speaking unprofessionally about a client.
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Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying
A couple of things....did you hear that your former T was saying mean and unflattering things from a reliable source?
Anytime I hear something from someone else, I try to consider the source and understand what is motivating the source to tell me something they know will hurt me. I understand it's hard to hear that someone you trusted would betray you like that, but if someone "heard" something negative being said about you, why would they share that with you knowing it would hurt you?
I like the idea of writing a letter, but maybe hang onto it for a bit before mailing.....
Sometimes when things are really causing painful emotions, we take action (like mailing a letter) that we later regret.
In terms of trusting a new T, all I can say about that is that I have had some really horrible T's and some amazing T's in my life, each time it's a new process to form that connection and trust. It might take a couple tries, but you will be able to find a T you are comfortable with.
Hope this is helpful....just my thoughts...
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It was a coincidence how I found out my t was talking about me. I asked someone I know how the online dating was going and there were complaints how the people were nuts, and was given many different examples that cracked me up. I stopped laughing when I heard how there was this one therapist who said this and that about the clients, so unprofessional. I recognized myself in the example of what the therapist said. It had to be me, it was the same city, and the info was so specific and identifying to me, and something I keep very private. My name was never mentioned. So no, no one was trying to hurt me.
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Originally Posted by archipelago
Wow, if I heard something like that I'd feel upset and betrayed. I definitely understand why it would bother you and why you would want to do something about it. If true, it is a clear cut violation of confidentiality and open him to disciplinary actions. Thing is, what if it is not true, or more in shades of grey than that? Then it gets complicated. And what you do gets complicated.
Also you seem to already have a complicated response. You say you have no interest in a confrontation, but at the same time want to write a letter. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean by confrontation, but to me a letter would be a confrontation so it feels like you may have mixed feelings about things.
If you sent a letter, would you want a response? And what types of things would you want to say in the letter?
Letter writing is sometimes recommended to process things so it may be the thing to do. I would just want to feel more certain about what it was all about and what I wanted out of it.
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I don't want to confront the therapist face to face. I want to write a letter and ask there be no response to it. I want responsibility to be taken here to what happened and I want it to be known that I know the mean things that were said about me and how I was lied to during therapy. The therapist probably won't care, but if anything, maybe will think again before acting so unprofessionally and hurting and damaging another client.