Thank you George, Clara, and Mikeyboy. In particular I appreciate the detailed report of things you have made here. Sometimes I imagine bad things happening and feeling powerless and helpless (like catching me by total surprise and me not able to do anything whatsoever, almost the kind of thing where you walking out on a sunny day and hear your dad died in a horrible car accident and you just stand there frozen like it makes no sense, like you could do nothing about it, like it could happen to you, it just...makes no sense). But worse yet is if you are actually present and can do nothing either, stand there frozen and later guilty. Then you get totally depressed. In short, sudden loss is awful and can make you totally depressed because you did not have time to adapt. But if you were also present in an emergency situation and did nothing, you get on top of that, survival guilt and start to question who you are.

But I read over these and tell myself it's possible, like bad things happening in future, I can always work my way through them one step at a time. I will do what I can and so not worry about survival guilt of PTSD. It's not like bad things will be my responsibility. But also I want to be able to be of some help and do my part, if I see something bad happening, whether to my loved ones or a stranger. Nothing worse than being witness to something awful and just standing there traumatized and frozen and later on live life feeling depressed and helpless. If you guys were in situations with prowlers, with guns drawn, with family overdosing, with bleeding arteries, corrosive chemicals on a person's skin, with car accidents, if you witnessed them happening to others and also to your family and yourself and were able to do something, there is hope that life can move on and we may not get frozen in trauma or in the past, and we may even be of help to ourselves or others. Thank you.