Inferiority complex. I never feel good enough. Always feel like people only associate with me out of pity because I'm too worthless to actually like.
Fear of being a monster and hurting the people around me.
Fear of people realizing what a monster I am.
Suicidal thoughts because of the above points.
Also related is my inability to defend myself. I deserve to be hurt for being so worthless.
Intense, easily triggered anger.
Find myself so hideously ugly that I will avoid the hair dresser so I don't have to look in the mirror. Am terribly avoidant in general.
Little to no sense of who I am and what I want which leads to moods that adjust to the people around me.
I do have a few core beliefs that I stick to but for the most part my personality relies on the people around me.
Shame and guilt for things I couldn't have helped or should carry no blame for.
I was bulimic but have turned binge eater now.
Binge drinking.
Unsafe sex.
Impulsive spending.
Self harm.