((((((((((((lexi)))))))))))

Hang in there, things will get easier. It says a lot about you that you felt comfortable enough sharing this with your T ... that alone takes a great deal of courage and you should be proud of yourself. As for your doc, well don't be too hard on yourself. This is not an easy thing that you are going through, and with time hopefully you will feel more comfortable talking to him/her.

Jacq