For so long I've wished I could just close my eyes and stop existing. I've had such a short life and saying that I've truly enjoyed it would damn sure be a lie. I'm tired of going through this every single day and no matter how much I acknowledge my struggle it doesn't even matter. Not at all. Not one bit. Anyone who says it does clearly doesn't care because they're not going through it. They're not me. Even people going through the same thing treat me as though what I say is totally insignificant. Those 'close' to me who should understand clearly don't. My attempts to explain myself don't matter. I'm still getting the same response: whatever I say is completely disregarded. I'm ignored. I'm talked over. I'm flat out said to literally be be wrong. I'm physically blocked. I'm not allowed a single ounce of privacy, courtesy - not even so much as acknowledgement. Nothing I say or do changes anything in terms of how I'm regarded. At all. I'm constantly struggling with the same problem, over and over and over and over and over...for years....and I'm so tired....of being made out to be the one who is wrong when the ways I am treated are wrong on so many levels. It's disgusting and sad that I can not do anything to get away from this type of behavior, being treated as though I am not a human being. I did not ask to come into existence only to be subjected to this type of mistreatment at every damn turn I make in all areas of my so called life...my entire life...My entire short, pathetic, unfulfilling life. I don't even care if this gets taken down or if my account gets deleted - clearly nothing will change how other people regard me. I open my mouth to speak and it is as if the wind just stirred...nothing to be paid any attention to...MY OWN personal space consistently invaded regardless of the metaphoric lose 'protection' of doors and my own damn arms...I'm so through I do not want to do this any more. Hoping for the day I no longer face this so consistently is completely pointless - my constant assertion means absolutely NOTHING. My actions my words mean absolutely nothing, just like the tears I'm constantly holding back simply from knowing that and allowing them to flow now because I'm so angry and utterly disgusted. The bitter hurt and disappointment that comes with this...