Yesterday I called one of my helpline counsellors to talk and to begin with the call was going fine until she started to bring my T into the conversation.. I don't recall much else but I must have switched because after a while she told me that my voice and everything had changed and I wasn't sounding like 'me' anymore. She said that I had an unhealthy relationship with my T as we are in contact so often and she said that I just wanted my T to take me on her holiday with her so that I wouldn't be alone and so scared? I do not remember saying that at all It made me feel so stupid and uncomfortable her bringing this up and I felt so confused as to what was going on!

I think lizzie came out because I know she likes our T a lot and often wishes that she could be her mum. lizzie likes to talk to a lot of people and seems to always need someone there to either protect her or give her lots of reassurance that she is doing a good job (all of which our T is great at doing)

Hearing the counsellor say all this was hard and was so uncomfortable. We shut down completely and I don't think anyone was brave enough to come out then. I felt so distant and really small and scared. I am really really bad. Bad, bad, bad little girl and not allowed to talk or say anything, talking only gets us all into trouble

I don't know if we can call her again. Cady finds it hard to trust anyone and now she is thinking we cannot trust or talk to anyone at all and I am scared. We are scared.

was very naughty girl talking to that counsellor lady yesterday. very bad girl. she will hurt big and our T is away. ella very mad and she saw dr man and got tablets. we dont need tablets. they bad tastes yucky. elisa trying keep us safe but T is gone and big is tired. make big ok? wanna see T but she nots here. me dont like being alone. gets real scared. need cuddle kitty and foster kitty now. me like kittys. kittys purr loud and sleep on me. they nice warm. me real scared.