I experienced a lot of that as well and it still effects me, seems to have prevented me from forming a healthy level of self worth and confidence and also has contributed to my mental issues mostly the depression and anxiety, but developing those early on probably made me more prone to the PTSD I got from a traumatic event...already had mental health issues so less able to cope with the trauma.

Anyways even if it has had long term effects on you its nothing to be ashamed of...people who have bullied people should be ashamed. But I kinda know what you mean I just try not to buy into that since I know there is no reason to feel ashamed over instances where other people where in the wrong.