Thanks povman. It does say a bit about me though. I am a weak person and I gave in at the age of 23. OK, I'd never had any female contact before that and never even been touched with one finger by a girl, but that's no excuse.

You're very right, these things take a long time to change. I'm very damaged as I am failing at all of the points mentioned. I know myself very well, but not necessarily love myself. Also if you don't love yourself, I found that you can still love someone, but they want no part of it . I have a problem with loving myself though. I have AS and for me, everything seems to be the same thing. I don't understand how you can love yourself and not be narcissistic then. Maybe I'm just an idiot, IDK.

And, you're so right. Damaged people attract damaged people. I've attracted a lot of damaged people. I admit, I've been with more than one prostitute, and one became really clingy. She almost cleaned me out, as she had a love of money. She was young, like 21, but had no intention of even going back home or going to school. She just wanted me to foot her bill for rent and stuff. I had to cut her out, but it's hard once they have your contact details.