I used to be so self-disciplined, I was super-intelligent at school, getting the highest scores in all my classes. It was never an issue for me.

It's ever since I got depression that all that has gone out the window. I was a very strong person before with a will of steel, now I am as weak as they come. I am a slave to things like junk food, because if I don't get my fix it feels like I want to die.

But, I've got an even bigger problem. I have no reason to change anything. The girl I love wants absolutely nothing to do with me, and never will, because I don't think I'm what she likes (I know if I looked different and had a good body you might think she would, but I get the impression that not even under those circumstances). It becomes extremely hard to get motivated once you know there's no real reward at the end.