(((((((((((((((Samanthaq))))))))))))))))))))

Wow .. it looks like you are struggling with some quite intense things right now. I'm sorry to hear that things are so difficult...

I may not have as much life experience as you do, but i've seen enough in my life to understand what you described above as having things constantly being thrown at you and not knowing how to handle it/why its all happening at once. I've also SI'd, been severely depressed, on meds etc etc ... and so i've had a taste of that so to speak. What's helped me get through some tough times has been the people in my life.... its really good to hear that you have your sister there for you. That you have that sort of connection with someone in your family ... thats so important. Keep talking with her about whats going on in your life ... talk to the people that you trust, and let yourself lean on them from time to time when you need support. Although i'm sure you already know all of this ...

Just know that you CAN fight this. You can get through this. Keep telling yourself that and it will happen. No body ever really gets far when they run away from their problems ... they seem to have a funny way of sneaking back up on them. When things get really bad ... just think of the things that have made you happy in the past, or things that still make you happy. Do you have any hobbies? Favourite movies? Favourite places to go? Do any of those things if its possible ... give yourself a break when you feel the stress building up. Make a little "you" time in your day - even when you are having a good one. Its so important to take time for yourself and give yourself a little "mental break" from reality.

Its going to be okay, just take things one step at a time. Try not to let things overwhelm you to the point where you feel like theres nothing you can do. I know, easier said then done .. but if you can recognize what especially triggers you in to becomming overly stressed, you can tackle the problem better.

((((hugs))))
Jacq