Keep trying. There are parents like your mom who can't seem to let their kids grow up and be adults. If not one excuse, they would find another. ADHD is not a reason that you can't be an adult and do the things that you want to do. Everything you're saying rings a bell for me, because I grew up with one of those mothers too. I wrote this poem about it a while ago:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

Mother Spider

A thing of beauty,
Hard-working,
So carefully she spins her web.
It must be just right.
Carefully designed,
It serves its function well.
At the same time dazzling,
A mastepiece,
A work of art,
Marvelous to behold.

She spends her entire life creating,
always at work
building the web.
Self-sacrificing,
She has no time for herself,
But she doesn't mind.
It's all worth it.
A labor of love.

So admired,
Who else possesses her dedication?
No one can help her.
She must do it all herself.
Others' efforts simply would never be good enough.
There can be no substitute.
She is needed.

Day by day, hour by hour,
she works, she watches.
She can never go far from her home.
She must maintain her web,
Guard her charges.
In her absence it could all fall apart.
Or maybe not, then what?
That would be even worse.
Then who would need her?

Her charges, yes.
Helpless are they.
She provides for them,
Takes good care of them.
They will need her forever.
She sees to that.

Her venom is poison,
But not lethal.
It only paralyzes.
She must be needed,
Forever.

Why should they ever want to leave the nest?
Here, they are safe,
Secure.
She is more than willing to provide for them.
Children, they must remain.

But should they desire to go,
she will try talking them out of it.
If they will not heed her warnings
of the dangers of the outside world,
She can still stop them.

The web, in its intricate beauty, is very sticky.
It is designed cunningly.
Its strands far-reaching.
They may only think that they have escaped.

Trying to fend for themselves,
Unprotected in the treacherous world,
Still ensnared,
They remain
Precious ornaments
To Mother Spider's beautiful creation,
Her much admired web.

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You can get out though. It will take hard work and persistance, and probably some help from people like your T and your support group. If you aren't ready to talk in group therapy yet, maybe you could take in something that you could read, like a poem, that shows how you feel. There are others out there in the same boat, but people don't know we are out there because we aren't allowed to talk about it. We need to start talking anyway.

Keep trying. You can make it.

Rap