Thanks Silver_Tree, Christina and Sans. I'm a little surprised since I wasn't sure people would bother reading such a long story. I'd really love to talk. I mean about anything, it doesn't have to be that.

I agree with everything you all said - Getting up and do something about it. I agree - Chances are not everybody in England is like that, but I have yet to met any. I know, the place where I live is not known as the best town in England.

I read all the comments on the first day - and it took me a week to answers. I feel up and down like a rollercoaster, I go to sleep thinking I'm going to do something about it first thing in the morning, and then I don't, feeling down the next day and up, I find it hard to focus - especially when she's around.

We went to a movie a couple of nights ago - a long one - over two hours, and she sat next to me twirling her hair the whole time. non stop. I get less and less patient and I actually couldn't concentrate on the movie because of that - and felt horrible after.

So I'm finding myself in this loop every day not being able to do anything about it...