Yes, that's so true- better to say off-putting behaviors. A child who scowls or closes up its body or wails at someone or turns away is NOT necessarily trying to communicate "I hate you" !

Much more common they're communicating unhappiness, but woe to the parent who deals with much of those behaviors:

strong ones will persevere longer in their caretaking and not see it as personal, though I do believe it wears down anyone a little eventually, helps shape the interaction,

but the ones who struggle, who internalize it, who *perceive* it as personal, who are depressed or suffering in other ways, who don't have the resiliency and ego strength and support....

that is a scary situation sometimes.