Mine gets better . . . and then it gets worse . . . and then it gets better . . . and then it gets worse . . . and then sometimes it gets really bad and I wonder why I'm even paying for meds . . . and then I talk about it in therapy and I get a new med . . . and then it gets better . . . and the cycle goes on.

I've talked about it with my therapist and she's helped me come to terms with the fact that I'll have to be on meds for depression for the rest of my life, likening it to diabetes, which actually helps me feel better about it even though that may sound strange. But what she means is that it can be a manageable condition given the right treatment. Don't worry, you'll be okay.

Have you told your therapist about those thoughts?

I recently went through a week of hell with that as I waited for a new AD to kick in (Wellbutrin). It was awful. I felt like I was literally fighting off the thoughts left and right, they just kept invading my head. Then, at the end of the week, the Wellbutrin kicked in and it was like night and day. However, a week after that I had an allergic reaction to it and had to go off it.

Are you on an antidepressant?