Hello Timeforhelp: Depression is so difficult because one of the things you need the most... energy... is one of the things the illness strips away. I'm glad you're practicing mindfulness meditation. And being in the partial hospitalization program should be helpful too. Are you assigned a counselor you could talk with about your feelings? Do you participate in group therapy sessions there, where you could do the same? I participated in a partial program a few years ago & both of those things were helpful. My best wishes to you for a complete recovery!