Sun_Flower,

Firstly, I want to say I am so sorry you grew up with so much "emotional abuse" like that.

I think what helps is to understand a little better what creates a person with NPD too. One way is what you saw of your brother, a golden child that can do no wrong and is spoiled and taught to think of "self" above all others as "entitled to be adored".

However, the other way it can happen is actually through neglect and emotional abuse or abandonment too. How your mother treated you may have very well been how she was treated. She may actually be treating you like she would have liked to treat a parent or sibling who neglected or treated her badly that you may remind her of too.

I have met women like you have discribed over the years, they always made me uncomfortable and tended to pick on how I was "too" attentive with my daughter too.
Yes, it is all about what "they" want too.

There are different ways they are created though, sometimes spoiling and too much adoring of a child as with your brother creates them too. It's almost like there should be two different catagories for them.

It always helps to understand "the beast" and yes, give one's self permission to distance and it's ok to walk away and never look back too.

OE