Awe, I don't think they're bad babies regardless. I think they're babies who have a tough time getting along, and that's hard for baby and parent. Sometimes, we as parents fail, and fail more, when our babies need more care. It's sad all around, but clearly never the baby's fault.

The adult is possessed with countless resources that a baby is devoid of. Typically, the baby's only resource is it's caregiver. When that caregiver fails, for whatever reason, it is their responsibility.

And yes, I have discussed my difficult behaviors (which could be perceived as rejecting) as cause for the way I was treated. But I don't find it makes sense to blame one person for another's behavior, regardless of relationship or age. If someone hits me, they've chosen to hit me. If someone neglects a baby, they've chosen to neglect her.

My little girl is nine. She has oppositional defiant disorder. If she tells me she's not going to eat and she hates me and wants me to leave.... do you think I'm just going to leave, going to let her starve? I don't take orders directly or indirectly from my minor daughter. She's not competent to raise herself, and neither is any infant.

I take good care of her. I feed her, I stay with her, I love her, I teach her as best I can. Have I needed five minute time outs, sure. Have I ever lost my temper, sure. Whose responsibility is it for all my actions? Mine. Mine Mine. Mine.

I'm responsible for every screwup, no matter that she never stopped crying as an infant, wouldn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, and was quite fussy.

And you know what? If I can't handle her- if I start to think she's a 'bad baby' or a 'terror' or 'too difficult'....

I pick up the ****ing phone and call for backup. It's my job to keep perspective. My poor kiddo can't do it, and she certainly couldn't as a helpless infant.

And if I don't, that too is my failure.