For some reason, I'm able to split people (BPD?). So the parents I had growing up no longer exist. They, in a sense died.

I do call my biological mom "mom". I call my biological dad "dad". But they will never be my mom and dad. My mom and I are really good friends, but it's not a mother/daughter relationship. I have no contact with my dad because he still is toxic to me (same with my younger sister).

Have I forgiven my parents? Yeah. I know I was wanted (they tried for 5 years to have me). But xyz caused them to neglect and abuse me. I will NEVER forget. I will NEVER allow them to hurt me again. But I am different; they are different. So long as we respect each other, a relationship can exist. People do change. I wouldn't want someone to never give me another chance because of mistakes I've made.