I can completely relate to your situation. I am the exact same age, and have the same problem and feelings of inadequacy. You seem to be doing a much better job than I of trying to de-stigmatize the feelings caused by virginity.

If you can find one, may I suggest a sex therapist. I am seeing one, and she has been a tremendous help to me. A good sex therapist can work with you on how to harness your sexual feelings as well as how to deal with any anxieties you may have in regards to dating as well as sexual contact.

I wish you well, feel free to PM me if you have any frustrations or need someone to talk to.