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Old Sep 13, 2014, 02:54 AM
Creative1onder Creative1onder is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by vonmoxie View Post
I'm currently in my 40's and in the midst of a very long and distressing episode of major depression. My very first episode was also years long, during my childhood, but I haven't had a major episode like this since I was in my mid-twenties. But even though I was lucky enough to enjoy that 20 year stretch without a major episode coming on, there's no doubt in my mind that the episodes are connected. That if I'd never had the episodes I did from when I was a young child, I'd have been far less likely to have one now. In that sense, I do think it can be lifelong (but agree there are all different kinds, that work differently for different people); that it's a fallacy for someone who has ever been depressed to imagine themselves entirely immune, and potentially take greater risks with self-care that could bring on another episode.

That's my story anyway. Previous to the episode I'm having now, I was working doubled full-time hours week after week, was sleep deprived, recreation deprived, sanity deprived. Relationship deprived. There wasn't time left for anything. Looking back, it's only that I powered through things in the way that I did that I ran myself into this episode. Short-sighted of me. But it had been so long, I'd forgotten that I'm really not invincible.

Edited just to add: It's my personal experience that episodes do run their course. Mine have simply ended when they have ended, always with some element of mystery for me; none of my earlier episodes involved the care of anyone in the psych industry though. And while I can't yet speak to what will eventually end this one, based on the length of time it's been and it being "treatment-resistant" (a term which only refers specifically to when depression doesn't respond positively to full rounds of anti-depressant treatment), I can only hope that it too will "run its course".
You might get depression at some stage in your life, not necessarily from young age, could be much later for first time, it doesn't mean you'll get it again and again in future. We can't say how long it will last when it arises or if /when it might come back. It is possible to overcome depression,liberate self, transform.. If you wait for it to go, passively wishing it to stop,run its course it may never leave you. You have to be the one in charge not the making the depression control, create fear, trap you . Like anything you can choose how you percieve and respond/deal with it, whether positively, constructively or negatively.