ugh
just got out of inpatient and am doing a pretty intense outpatient thing. had a really hard day and was feeling out of balance...

so what do i do??

drive an hour to a free concert that starts at 11 pm, mosh my guts out and not get home until 3 am. wine? yes please. more please.
i didnt get trashed but i know that it doesnt mix with my meds, which i ended up taking at almost 2 am instead of at 10 pm.
im trying really hard to get my cirrcadian rythm thing under control so that it helps keep the bipolar (mania) in check and yet there i am at 3 am looking for ways to stay up longer even though i was exhausted.

i know other people must do this
know whats good for you and then go do the opposite. the thing is that i think usually youre not thinking about what you should be doing, youre just doing what you feel like doing.
with me last night, it was a conscious descision to go agaisnt what i know is best for my stability.
and i had a blast