For myself it is a knee-jerk reaction. The parents who brought me into this world were not perfect by any means. They were both alcoholics during my early years, and my mother had a severe mental illness. My father was retired military, a house painter, and came from a very abusive background.

I'm a firm believer in doing what I'm told, protecting our family's secrets, and putting on a facade to the outside world. Training ingrained during childhood and reinforced during adulthood.

It takes a long time to undo all that brainwashing. My parents are both deceased, so there's also an element of not attacking those who cannot defend themselves involved. And a huge sense of shame, at the way I was raised and subsequently the way I behave now, that I never "pulled up my big girl panties" and carried on with living despite the poor preparation I was given.

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