Sorry Mouse. My thoughts about this are to wait for the next face to face session to talk about it with her. I know what you mean about wanting to withdraw and having that 'speak' for your pain, as well as punishing her, hurting her in retaliation. Two for one, hard to resist.

Take on some of 'power' (I don't like cliché words usually, but sometimes they do fit). She has all the power on this set up. If writing while she is away isn't working for you because you risk being very hurt, and have been very hurt, then perhaps a change is needed? Is there another way to hang on to the connection? Is there something else meaningful that she could do that would work for both of you? Let you words say that you are weary of this cycle and you want something to change, because you don't like feeling hurt, by her of all people. It is both present reality when she forgets, and it is core wounds being irritated, triggered. I can relate.

I would also want to know her thoughts. Are her holidays different now that her children are older, for example. Does she think that the relationship now includes a secure connection that can fully withstand a break with no communication? Has the meaning of her letting you know she thinks of you during breaks changed, for her?

Just because it isn't her intention to hurt you doesn't make the pain any less. It's worse, really, because It leaves you hurt *and* having to accept her apologies, in order to move on. Why should you have to do that?!. She gets off pretty easy...